I still haven't seen the movie "Courageous" yet but I bought the women's study book that goes with it. I plan on watching the movie tomorrow, if I can. So far, I have read the forward and the first lesson. This is the second book that has helped me with my miscarriage. I look forward to getting closer to God and trying to change my study habits for Him.
My Bible Fellowship (BF) teacher has started a new 5 min mini sermon for the men in our class. He is taking those sermons out of the "Courageous" study book for men. I asked Daniel, my husband, what he thought about the lessons. He told me he really wanted to read the book. Later that day, as I searched for the book, I saw it had a female counterpart. I decided that it would be neat if we both read them. It must have been divinely timed because I was feeling particularly blah that day. I had just got done talking to Daniel about how I'm sad all the time and I don't feel like my life is going anywhere. I feel like my life was going the way I wanted it to before this happened. I was finally getting something I have wanted my entire life and then this happened. It was a colossal letdown. My world crumbled. Then I get this book. And this book's first resolution is:
I do solemnly resolve to embrace my current season of life and will maximize my time in it. I will resist the urge to hurry through or circumvent and portion of my journey but will live with a spirit of contentment.
Really? This is the first resolution? I must be content in my current season of life? What if I don't want to be content? What if I want to indulge in self pity and be miserable- a horrible thing happened to me; I deserve to be heartbroken if I so choose.
Then came the verses.
"True godliness with contentment is itself great wealth" (1 Timothy 6:6 NLT)
"If we have food and clothing, with these we shall be content" (1 Timothy 6:8 AMP)
"Make sure your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, 'I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you'" (Hebrews 13:5 NASB)
I'm trying to be content but it is so hard. It's hard to be in a storm and thank God for what you're going through. I know we're supposed to be thankful- in good times as well as bad. I know I'm nowhere near grateful enough for this storm I am going through and I'm glad God is who He is. I need His favor and His grace and His love....and I have it. I just need to accept it. If this is how you're feeling, I urge you to take a step with me and try to accept the love, grace, and acceptance He is trying to give us today.
Love in Christ,
a hurt soul.
*Book info: "The Resolution for Women" By: Priscilla Shirer*
Showing posts with label miscarriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label miscarriage. Show all posts
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Free to Grieve
My friend Michelle gave me a book that is helping me a lot. It's called "Free to Grieve" by Maureen Rank. I'm going to post a few things in the first chapter that helped me.
Chapter 1: A peculiar kind of hurt.
"Women who lose pregnancies sometimes feel frightened, other times guilty, often confused, but nearly always very alone. What is the pain of this loss? And why so much pain?"
It is unexpected.
It's not talked about.
Miscarriage may be your first experience with death.
You may feel you have failed to fulfill an adult responsibility.
Pregnancy loss may mean the end of your baby chances.
Others don't know how to respond.
Society has no death rites for miscarriage.
You may be coping with death in a weakened physical condition.
"If, as many believe, postpartum depression is a biologically induced reality that causes a vulnerability to depression among women with new babies, think of the consequences of these hormonal shifts for a woman who has just lost her child! Perhaps this is part of the reason women find miscarriage so very difficult to handle, and also in part why husbands do not seem to completely share the depth of their wives' sorrow."
The cause of pregnancy is often medically vague.
To a mother, a child has been lost.
"For some women, the reality of a child's existence hits after they feel the movement. And though the emotional rush we call "love" may not come until delivery, for some women that love is every bit as intense toward the growing little as it will be when the babe snuggles in their arms. This process of bonding between mother and child begins early, earlier for some women than ever realized. So even if a mother's hit as hard as the loss of a much-loved friend."
A pregnancy loss is the death of a part of you.
"What people do not realize is that for the mother, this infant has been part of her since conception. She has come to know it in a way that no one else has. In a sense, she has not only lost a child but also a part of herself. Her breasts ache to nurse and her arms long to hold her lost infant. She literally feels empty, weak, and insecure; a very real and significant part of her has died."
You have a baby, but you have no memories to cling to.
"If you miscarried, or delivered a stillbirth, you lost a child. And that loss took place in such an abrupt and uniquely difficult way that those who have not experienced it will probably not understand. But your suffering makes sense. You have good reason to hurt."
If anyone stumbled across this page and it helped- please let me know. I know these words helped me. 'A peculiar kind of hurt' are the most amazing words I have heard, thus far, to describe what I have been feeling.
Chapter 1: A peculiar kind of hurt.
"Women who lose pregnancies sometimes feel frightened, other times guilty, often confused, but nearly always very alone. What is the pain of this loss? And why so much pain?"
It is unexpected.
It's not talked about.
Miscarriage may be your first experience with death.
You may feel you have failed to fulfill an adult responsibility.
Pregnancy loss may mean the end of your baby chances.
Others don't know how to respond.
Society has no death rites for miscarriage.
You may be coping with death in a weakened physical condition.
"If, as many believe, postpartum depression is a biologically induced reality that causes a vulnerability to depression among women with new babies, think of the consequences of these hormonal shifts for a woman who has just lost her child! Perhaps this is part of the reason women find miscarriage so very difficult to handle, and also in part why husbands do not seem to completely share the depth of their wives' sorrow."
The cause of pregnancy is often medically vague.
To a mother, a child has been lost.
"For some women, the reality of a child's existence hits after they feel the movement. And though the emotional rush we call "love" may not come until delivery, for some women that love is every bit as intense toward the growing little as it will be when the babe snuggles in their arms. This process of bonding between mother and child begins early, earlier for some women than ever realized. So even if a mother's hit as hard as the loss of a much-loved friend."
A pregnancy loss is the death of a part of you.
"What people do not realize is that for the mother, this infant has been part of her since conception. She has come to know it in a way that no one else has. In a sense, she has not only lost a child but also a part of herself. Her breasts ache to nurse and her arms long to hold her lost infant. She literally feels empty, weak, and insecure; a very real and significant part of her has died."
You have a baby, but you have no memories to cling to.
"If you miscarried, or delivered a stillbirth, you lost a child. And that loss took place in such an abrupt and uniquely difficult way that those who have not experienced it will probably not understand. But your suffering makes sense. You have good reason to hurt."
If anyone stumbled across this page and it helped- please let me know. I know these words helped me. 'A peculiar kind of hurt' are the most amazing words I have heard, thus far, to describe what I have been feeling.
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